("How Seeing a Psychic Helped Me Overcome Post-Partum Depression" is a guest post to The Loving Channel Blog by Lisa Fernandez.)
Please note: the following is not to be taken as medical advice. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please get help immediately. Reach out to a therapist, a care provider, or call 911.
I know, I know. How in the world could a psychic, not a doctor or a therapist, help me recover from postpartum depression? Let’s back up first for some context.
I was a Nervous Nellie during my pregnancy. I didn’t suffer much physically, but my “geriatric pregnancy” meant extra doctor visits. And wouldn’t ya know, I have bad medical anxiety. So, yeah, you get the picture. It was bad.
I was anticipating the sweet relief of giving birth to my baby girl. I’d finally be done with doctors prodding, testing and measuring me for a while (with the annoying exception of the 6 week follow up). And hallelujah! It *was* sweet relief…for about two weeks.
When my baby girl was born, I felt all the feelings. The birds sang. The sun shone brighter. My daughter was exquisite. I cried as I watched her sleep. How did I get so lucky?
It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn
Fast forward to week four, when the clouds started to close in. At that point, I was running on a month of little to no sleep. And the Witching Hours had begun. Every day around 4pm, my baby would start crying incessantly for about 3 hours straight.
For those curious, here are some of the things we tried to soothe her: breastfeeding, bottle feeding, swaddling, shushing, bouncing, rocking, taking her outside, going for a car ride, stroller ride, turning on white noise, pacifiers (several different brands), gripe water, gas drops, giving her a bath, holding her near running water (a TikTok tip), babywearing, a very expensive “smart bassinet”, etc etc and unfortunate et cetera.
We took her to the doctor who told us she might have colic but unfortunately there’s not much you can do. He showed us some massages and bicycle moves to help her relieve gas. Guess what? We’d already tried those. Lol?
It was around this time that despair crept in like a snake that coiled itself around me. I felt trapped. I was so fragile that I began to question everything, even becoming a mother. How in the world did I think this was a good idea? Why did I ever think I was equipped to be a mom? Did everyone lie to me? What if I can’t do this?
These doubts spread like wildfire, devouring every inch of my self-confidence. How will I be able to function when I return to work? Can I even drive safely? Will I be able to perform at work? What if I lose my job? How will I earn enough money to support my family?
Then Postpartum Depression knocked my lights out.
I’ve always been a very determined person. I search for a solution and the silver lining in the most trying situations. But I had met my match. My world was unprecedentedly fractured. I couldn’t see the road in front of me, let alone a way back.
I was painfully aware that even in my debilitated state, I no longer could consider only myself. I had this tiny creature who depended on me for everything. The stakes were so high. It felt like walking a tightrope across a ravine with alligators at the bottom… on 2 hours of sleep. My soul ached for nurturing, for soothing, for someone to tell me I was going to be alright. Where would I find the spiritual guidance that I needed?
Beyond the Veil
Turns out, the YouTube algorithm knows me better than I know myself. My feed started populating with readings by psychics and mediums, as well as stories of Near Death Experiences. I was intrigued. I couldn’t stop watching. Something resonated deeply with me.
I devoured videos during my daughter's naps. I held her close while the tears streamed down my face. I stifled sobs as I witnessed people experiencing profound connection and meaning. I longed to feel the unconditional love described in NDE’s. Or the warm embrace of validations from passed loved ones. I yearned for contact. I racked my brain trying to think of who could I trust? Then a light bulb went off.
Kia was someone I had known from my actor circles in New York. She was always so warm and reassuring. Moreover, Kia had one of the most authentic connections with Source (aka God, the All-in-All, whatever you’d like to call “It”) that I had ever experienced. I am not overstating it when I say– just being in her presence is healing. Once while working together in an acting class, she casually made a few observations about my aura. I was shocked at how accurate and eloquent her off-the-cuff reading was.
That was it. I needed to talk to Kia. How did I forget that I already knew a wonderful psychic? My heart nearly exploded with confirmation. I knew the road ahead would be long. But the good news was, I had found the path! My excitement must’ve been palpable because the baby started to stir from her nap. I gleefully bit my lip, leaned back and mentally drafted an email to Kia.
I had somehow stumbled onto my way back.
The Road to Healing
Kia and I have a great mutual respect for one another but we hadn’t been in touch for some time. She wasn’t aware that I’d had a baby, much less postpartum depression. She began our session by saying, “In my meditation before our call, I kept seeing a mother crying and holding something in her hand.” I broke down.
Months, maybe years, worth of tears flooded my face. I finally felt safe enough to feel it. All of it. The fear, despair, sorrow, heartache, yearning, and love. Kia navigated my emotional outpouring with such grace. I was in good hands. I found the support I’d been yearning for. I could finally exhale.
Kia closed her eyes and impressions came flooding in about everything: my home, my job, my finances, my partner, my new baby and my new role as a mother. She shared them with me in rapidfire succession. They resonated so profoundly. My heart swelled with confirmation.
I shared with her how lost I felt, how completely upside down my world was, how I felt like I had no road map for this. I had written down a list of questions that I shared. After each question, Kia would close her eyes and wait. Sometimes she’d smile or even give a quiet laugh and then share the information she was getting.
Kia helped me sort through fears that gripped me about my job, going back to work and my path forward professionally. She helped to put out the fire that was raging in my mind; it consumed my confidence and my identity. She soothed the heart of a new mother, who desperately needed mothering herself.
Even though my questions were largely centered around my work and finances, Kia kept bringing me back to the most important issue. Her intuition was spot on. She’d identified the (injured) elephant in the room. She tapped into my struggles with my own mother. Another light bulb went off. She urged me to comfort myself in those scary moments with my daughter. She reminded me I was not alone. My daughter and I were going to make it. Together.
After an hour and a half of sobbing and, eventually, laughing, Kia wrapped up our session. We made quick plans to meet the following week. As I closed my computer, I breathed out a true blue sigh of relief. Maybe the first one in about a year. Kia lit a match in a dark, scary place and I could finally see my way back home.
In the Sunshine
It’s only been a few months since that first reading with Kia but it feels like another lifetime. I wish I could hug that terrified new mom now. She was so scared and so earnest. She was trying to be a good mom, with every fiber of her being.
Full disclosure, I was in therapy weekly during this time and I began some supplements that made a drastic impact on my recovery. So, no, I wasn’t cured by a crystal ball. Especially since Kia doesn’t use crystal balls (haha). But the psychic sessions with Kia gave me two things. They helped me heal and they gave me a road map. I was bumping my head against the wall in therapy. I was tired of hearing myself repeat the same fears and complaints. I needed some perspective, a 40,000 foot view. I needed validation that I was heading in the right direction. How to best secure my financial future for my family. And how to heal transgenerational wounds around parenthood.
If you are at a crossroads in your life and you can’t find the answers you’re looking for, schedule a psychic session with Kia. At the bare minimum, you are going to be bathed in a benevolent light and your spirit will be soothed. But most likely, you will find some of the keys you’ve been frantically searching for. And your own intuition will be validated and sharpened. The worst that will come of it is you will experience healing. What have you got to lose?